Patterns of Leadership Blog

Tag: neurodivergent

  • The intersection of being female and neurodivergent at work

    There is a growing (and really welcome) awareness of neurodiversity at work. At the same time, conversations about gender equality keep moving forward too. But when you sit at the intersection of both, being female and neurodivergent, the day-to-day experience can feel very specific, and it often gets missed in broader discussions. In this post, I want to share some of the common challenges and the kinds of changes that can make workplaces genuinely more inclusive.

    Neurodiversity is the idea that differences in how our brains work are a normal part of human variation. That includes autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning or developmental differences. Neurodivergent people often bring real strengths (pattern-spotting, creativity, deep focus, original problem solving), but many workplaces are still built around one “standard” way of communicating, concentrating, and coping with pressure.

    For neurodivergent women, that mismatch can be even harder to navigate. Gender bias already shapes how competence and behaviour are judged. Add neurodivergence, and the same traits can be interpreted more harshly, or simply misunderstood. Here are a few challenges that come up again and again.

    • Underdiagnosis and misdiagnosis: Neurodivergent women are often diagnosed later, or misdiagnosed (for example with anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder). A big reason is that many diagnostic frameworks were built around how traits show up in boys and men, and those assumptions still influence assessment today. When the label is missing or incorrect, workplace support and accommodations can be harder to access.
    • Masking and burnout: Many neurodivergent women learn to “mask” (camouflage) their traits to fit expectations. It can look like forcing eye contact, copying social scripts, or over-preparing for meetings. It works, until it doesn’t. Over time, masking can drive chronic stress and burnout.
    • Gender stereotypes and bias: The same behaviour is often read differently depending on gender. A woman with ADHD might be labelled “disorganised” or “flaky”, while a man with similar traits may be seen as energetic or innovative. Autistic communication styles can also be judged more harshly in women, especially when people expect warmth, small talk, or indirectness.
    • Lack of understanding and support: Many workplaces still treat neurodiversity as a niche topic, or only address it when someone discloses. For women who already feel on the margins, that can mean fewer safe options to ask for adjustments, and more pressure to cope silently.

    So what actually helps? The most useful changes tend to be practical, not performative. They also work best when they support everyone (without requiring a person to constantly justify their needs). Here are a few approaches that can make a real difference.

    • Education and training: Build baseline understanding of neurodiversity, and include how gender bias can change how traits are perceived. Good training reduces stigma, but it also gives managers language and confidence to offer adjustments early.
    • Flexible work arrangements: Flexibility can be transformative. That might mean flexible hours, predictable meeting schedules, remote or hybrid options, quiet workspaces, or alternatives to open-plan “always on” environments.
    • Inclusive hiring practices: Make hiring and progression more objective and more accessible. Share interview formats in advance, allow different ways to demonstrate skills, and focus on what the role actually needs rather than unspoken social rules.
    • Sponsorship and mentorship: Mentors can help with navigation and confidence. Sponsors go a step further by advocating for opportunities. Both matter, especially when someone’s strengths are real but not always recognised through traditional (and sometimes biased) signals.

    Being female and neurodivergent at work can come with a particular mix of barriers, some subtle and some very direct. The good news is that the fixes are often straightforward once organisations are willing to listen and adapt. When neurodivergent women can work without constant masking, second-guessing, or bias, everyone benefits. Fairer systems create better teams, better ideas, and healthier careers.

    Photo by Rizky Sabriansyah on Pexels.com

  • Neuro-inclusive coaching: helping leaders and individuals thrive at work

    We live in a competitive, fast-changing world of work, and success often depends on how well people are supported, not just how hard they try. Over the last 20+ years of leading teams, I’ve learned that autonomy matters, but it works best when it comes with thoughtful coaching. That is even more true when you are neurodivergent, or when you lead neurodivergent people.

    A quick note on language: people describe themselves in different ways (for example, “autistic person” or “person with autism”). I try to follow the language people use for themselves. This post is based on practical leadership experience and widely used workplace approaches, not medical or legal advice.

    Good coaching shapes and develops skills, but not by trying to coach the neurodivergence out of someone. Neuroinclusive coaching starts with curiosity about how a person thinks, processes information, and gets work done. In practice that can look like agreeing the best format for information (written notes, voice, visuals), breaking goals into smaller steps, or using short check-ins to reduce overwhelm and keep momentum.

    Coaching also improves engagement because it signals, “You matter here.” For many neurodivergent people, work can include an extra, invisible layer of effort: masking, recovering from sensory overload, or decoding unclear expectations. When leaders create psychological safety, people are more likely to ask for clarity, flag barriers early, and do their best work without burning out. Over time, that kind of environment supports higher retention rates and reduced turnover.

    In a time of rapid change, we all need continuous learning and adaptability. Neuroinclusive coaching helps by reducing friction around learning. That might mean sharing materials in advance, offering choice in how someone learns (reading, listening, trying it hands-on), or creating predictable routines that make new information easier to absorb. The goal is not a one-size-fits-all process, but a way of working that lets different brains learn, contribute, and innovate.

    Coaching helps align individual goals with organisational objectives by making expectations clear and workable. Many people, neurodivergent or not, struggle when priorities are vague. Neurodivergent people may be hit harder by ambiguity, shifting goalposts, or “read between the lines” communication. A helpful coaching habit is to agree what “good” looks like, confirm deadlines and dependencies in writing, and use outcome-based measures rather than judging someone’s style or process.

    Neuroinclusive coaching also supports future leaders. Some neurodivergent people are exceptional at pattern spotting, creative problem-solving, deep focus, or strategic thinking, but may be underestimated if their communication style is different. Coaching can help leaders recognise strengths, remove barriers, and normalise adjustments as a performance enabler, not “special treatment.” That builds a stronger talent pipeline and a more resilient organisation.

    Practical neuroinclusive coaching tips

    • Start by asking preferences: “What helps you do your best thinking?” “What gets in your way?”
    • Make expectations explicit: define outcomes, priorities, and deadlines, then confirm in writing.
    • Offer options for communication: written follow-ups, agendas in advance, and time to process before responding.
    • Reduce cognitive load: break work into milestones, clarify the first step, and agree what “done” means.
    • Support regulation and energy: build in breaks, protect focus time, and avoid unnecessary urgency.
    • Focus feedback on impact and outcomes, not on being more “typical.”
    • Name your conditions for success: the environment, tools, and routines that make work easier.
    • Ask for clarity early: “Can you confirm the priority and the deadline?” “What does success look like?”
    • Choose supports that fit you: reminders, body doubling, noise reduction, templates, or written instructions.
    • Track what drains you and what fuels you, then plan recovery time like it is part of the job.
    • If you disclose, do it on your terms, and focus on needs and adjustments rather than labels.

    Coaching is not a luxury. It is a practical way to help people thrive, and it is one of the most powerful tools leaders have to build trust and performance. When coaching is neuroinclusive, it reduces friction, protects wellbeing, and creates the conditions where different kinds of minds can do their best work. If you take only one thing from this post, let it be this: coach the person in front of you, not the version of them you expected.

    Autonomy matters, but people thrive when coaching is clear, strengths-based, and neuroinclusive.

    Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Pexels.com