Patterns of Leadership Blog

Tag: autism

  • The intersection of being female and neurodivergent at work

    There is a growing (and really welcome) awareness of neurodiversity at work. At the same time, conversations about gender equality keep moving forward too. But when you sit at the intersection of both, being female and neurodivergent, the day-to-day experience can feel very specific, and it often gets missed in broader discussions. In this post, I want to share some of the common challenges and the kinds of changes that can make workplaces genuinely more inclusive.

    Neurodiversity is the idea that differences in how our brains work are a normal part of human variation. That includes autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning or developmental differences. Neurodivergent people often bring real strengths (pattern-spotting, creativity, deep focus, original problem solving), but many workplaces are still built around one “standard” way of communicating, concentrating, and coping with pressure.

    For neurodivergent women, that mismatch can be even harder to navigate. Gender bias already shapes how competence and behaviour are judged. Add neurodivergence, and the same traits can be interpreted more harshly, or simply misunderstood. Here are a few challenges that come up again and again.

    • Underdiagnosis and misdiagnosis: Neurodivergent women are often diagnosed later, or misdiagnosed (for example with anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder). A big reason is that many diagnostic frameworks were built around how traits show up in boys and men, and those assumptions still influence assessment today. When the label is missing or incorrect, workplace support and accommodations can be harder to access.
    • Masking and burnout: Many neurodivergent women learn to “mask” (camouflage) their traits to fit expectations. It can look like forcing eye contact, copying social scripts, or over-preparing for meetings. It works, until it doesn’t. Over time, masking can drive chronic stress and burnout.
    • Gender stereotypes and bias: The same behaviour is often read differently depending on gender. A woman with ADHD might be labelled “disorganised” or “flaky”, while a man with similar traits may be seen as energetic or innovative. Autistic communication styles can also be judged more harshly in women, especially when people expect warmth, small talk, or indirectness.
    • Lack of understanding and support: Many workplaces still treat neurodiversity as a niche topic, or only address it when someone discloses. For women who already feel on the margins, that can mean fewer safe options to ask for adjustments, and more pressure to cope silently.

    So what actually helps? The most useful changes tend to be practical, not performative. They also work best when they support everyone (without requiring a person to constantly justify their needs). Here are a few approaches that can make a real difference.

    • Education and training: Build baseline understanding of neurodiversity, and include how gender bias can change how traits are perceived. Good training reduces stigma, but it also gives managers language and confidence to offer adjustments early.
    • Flexible work arrangements: Flexibility can be transformative. That might mean flexible hours, predictable meeting schedules, remote or hybrid options, quiet workspaces, or alternatives to open-plan “always on” environments.
    • Inclusive hiring practices: Make hiring and progression more objective and more accessible. Share interview formats in advance, allow different ways to demonstrate skills, and focus on what the role actually needs rather than unspoken social rules.
    • Sponsorship and mentorship: Mentors can help with navigation and confidence. Sponsors go a step further by advocating for opportunities. Both matter, especially when someone’s strengths are real but not always recognised through traditional (and sometimes biased) signals.

    Being female and neurodivergent at work can come with a particular mix of barriers, some subtle and some very direct. The good news is that the fixes are often straightforward once organisations are willing to listen and adapt. When neurodivergent women can work without constant masking, second-guessing, or bias, everyone benefits. Fairer systems create better teams, better ideas, and healthier careers.

    Photo by Rizky Sabriansyah on Pexels.com

  • Strengths-based performance management: how it builds psychological safety and supports growth

    I’ve sat in enough end-of-year conversations, goal reviews, and “quick check-ins” to know that performance management can either lift a team up or quietly shut it down. Leaders rarely set out to create fear, but the way we talk about performance can make it safer to stay silent than to speak honestly.

    A strengths-based performance management approach shifts the centre of gravity. It asks: what does this person do well, in what situations do they do it, and how can we create more opportunities for them to contribute at their best?

    This is not about vague positivity or “just praise people more.” It is a practical way to build psychological safety by making it normal to talk about what works, what gets in the way, and what support is needed. When people expect fairness, curiosity, and follow-through from their manager, they take more interpersonal risks. They ask questions, surface problems earlier, and share ideas that might not be fully formed yet.

    Shifting the focus to strengths

    Traditional performance reviews often lean heavily on gaps and shortfalls. Even when the intent is supportive, the message can land as: “Here’s what’s wrong with you.” Over time, that can create defensiveness, impression management, and anxiety about being exposed.

    When you start with strengths, you send a different signal: “I see you, and I know what good looks like when you are at your best.” People feel recognised for their contribution, not just evaluated for their mistakes. That recognition supports psychological safety because it reduces the perceived cost of speaking up. If your value is clear, you do not have to protect yourself quite so hard.

    Building trust through recognition

    Trust grows when people feel accurately seen. As a leader, that means noticing patterns, naming them, and being specific. “You bring structure when things get messy,” lands differently than “good job.” Specific recognition helps someone understand what to repeat, and it shows that you are paying attention in a way that feels fair.

    A strengths-based approach to feedback also changes the tone of the conversation. Instead of a “tick-box” post-mortem, feedback becomes coaching: what worked, why it worked, where it could stretch further, and what support would make it easier next time. When managers consistently do this, people become more willing to be candid about risks, constraints, and mistakes because they expect learning, not blame.

    Empowering people to take smart risks

    Innovation needs experimentation, and experimentation includes uncertainty. Psychological safety is what makes it possible to try, learn, and iterate without fear of embarrassment. When people are encouraged to lean into strengths, they often feel more capable and more resourced. That confidence makes it easier to propose an idea, pilot a new approach, or challenge a decision respectfully.

    The flip side is also true. If feedback is mostly about what is lacking, many people default to playing it safe. A strengths-based lens helps you ask: where is this person already effective, and how can we design work that lets them use that capability while still building the next skill? That is how you create a culture where “try it” feels reasonable, not reckless.

    Encouraging open communication and feedback

    Psychological safety shows up in the everyday moments: admitting uncertainty, asking for context, offering a different perspective, or naming a risk before it becomes a problem. Strengths-based conversations make those moments easier because they centre on contribution and improvement, not judgement.

    In practice, this means replacing “Here’s what you need to fix” with “Here’s what I’m noticing, and here’s where you are strongest. How do we use that more intentionally?” It also means being comfortable naming what is not working without attacking the person. That combination is powerful: high standards paired with high support.

    Strengths, engagement, and retention

    When people regularly use their strengths, work tends to feel more energising and more meaningful. That does not remove pressure or complexity, but it does increase a sense of progress and agency. Over time, that is a major driver of engagement.

    Engaged people are also more likely to stay. Strengths-based performance management supports retention because it helps employees see a future for themselves: where they can grow, how they can contribute, and what development looks like in real terms. For leaders, it is also a practical way to reduce the hidden costs of turnover and disengagement.

    Fostering inclusion through strengths

    A strengths-based approach can also support inclusion because it widens the definition of “what good looks like.” Different people contribute in different ways, and teams benefit when those differences are recognised rather than flattened. When people do not feel they have to mimic one narrow style to be valued, it becomes safer to participate fully.

    Leaders can reinforce this by distributing opportunity, not just praise. Who gets the stretch assignment, airtime in meetings, and visibility with stakeholders? When you can connect those opportunities to strengths, you make the process clearer and more equitable, and you strengthen a sense of belonging.

    Strengths-based performance management is not a soft option. It is a disciplined way to develop people while protecting psychological safety. You still address problems, but you do it with curiosity, specificity, and a focus on what will help someone succeed.

    If you lead a team, a simple place to start is to ask each person: “When do you feel most effective here?” Then listen for patterns, reflect back what you heard, and build goals that use those strengths on real work. Psychological safety grows when people experience performance management as support, not threat.

    Photo by Yan Krukau on Pexels.com